Brother

My brother should be arriving today. He is driving out California with his wife. Glad that he is willing to make a detour at my place on his way to the folks. The folks live down in South Carolina.

They both are in the Navy and work on carrier aircraft. Not a job for me. I had been in the Navy, but I served on submarines. I served my 20 years and retired. Now I work as a contractor for a Government Agency.

The house is not ready for them. The cold that took us down last week is still lingering. Just do not feel doing a whole lot of anything.

I feel like a bum for not keeping this up to date.



Monty

A blind joke

A blind man makes his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair ...given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "Nah...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."



Monty
for more jokes go to
http://www.qcetech.com

Is it the FLU season?

It almost seems like the flu season. 

  My wife has been volunteering at my son's school.  However if you are around all of those kids you are bound to catch something.  Last Wednesday she caught the cold.  I did well for a while.  Somehow I managed not to come down with it until Monday morning.

  Now it's Friday and I am finally starting to feel better.  The week has been crazy at work.  Had several jobs that had to be done (had been waiting on others and did not want to be the point out as the hold up).  So I was unable to take a day off.  Now everything has slowed down and I am almost over the stupid cold.  Today my boss is out because he now has the cold.  

  Opps

Monty

 

I Must Be Old

Posted by Hello

A blind man

A blind man makes his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair ...given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "Nah...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

USS SAN FRANCISCO (SSN-711)

At 12 noon, January 8, Guam Time, the USS SAN FRANCISCO (SSN-711) hits an unchartered undersea mountain while travelling at high speed about 500 ft below surface.

The submarine is able to surface and head back to Guam. One critically injured sailor died January 9, while 23 other crewmen are treated for injuries by SEAL medical personnel that came aboard January 9.

On its way back to Guam, the SAN FRANCISCO is escorted by USNS GYSGT FRED W. STOCKHAM (T-AK 3017) and USCGC GALVESTON ISLAND (WPB 1349). USNS KISKA (T-AE 35) as well as military aircraft stood by to assist if required.

Monty


Posted by Hello

Simmons came thru.

.
The guys at Simmons Market Research came thru.

I did a survey last month with Simmons. When I first talked with them on the phone they asked a few questions for a phone survey. Then they asked if they could send me a written survey. Simmons said they would pay $20.00 if I complete the survey.

I should have seen it. The survey was over 175 pages. I worked for about a week to complete it.

Today they sent me the $20.00. I had my doughts. But I was wrong.

They did as they said they would.

Monty


Posted by Hello

Kids on the front

(Still safer than at Michael Jacksons)

A friend of mine sent me this.
Posted by Hello

Computer Access

I tried to update this at work but can not.
IT security has banned this part of the site. sometimes you just have to wonder.

Oh well, Need to regather my thoughts and try again.


Monty

Why Computers Sometimes Crash!

by Dr. Seuss.


If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall......

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang.

When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instructions is causing unnecessary risk, then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM, and then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!

Well, that certainly clears things up for me.

How about you?


Thank you, Bill Gates, for bringing all this into our lives.


Monty

I ask too many questions.

Last week I went to a demo for a NEW HF system that my company wants to install. I began asking questions of both the contractor and our company rep. I guess I asked way too many questions. Our rep looked at me and said “I don’t understand this stuff, I am just an engineer.”

Somehow during the demo when the contractor asked for some info our rep pointed at me and told him that I was going to be our company’s point man.

As I dig into to problems I am find that the company executives have unrealistic expectations in capabilities, cost and timeline for installation.

Here we go again.

Monty

Is Washington afraid of the weather?

I am not originally from the DC area. Lived here for the last six (6) years. I have noticed that a lot of people in the area are afraid of the weather. They feel it should always be sunny with temp between 75f and 85f.

Two perfect examples. Last Thursday all of the area schools were cancelled because it was GOING to snow. School was also cancelled of Friday because there could be some ice on the roads. I drove to and from work on both of these days. Oh NO, nothing was on the roads.

On Monday it was suppose to start around 4am. Once again all schools are closed. However Mr. Winter decided not to show up until 1pm. None of the road ever had any real problem, mostly slush. The parents were yelling now. On Tuesday the schools gave a little. This time they only delayed classes by 2 hours. At least the children are finally able to go to school and maybe learn something.

The schools should be in the business of educating. What are you teaching the kids when you close the schools every time you see a snow flake?

Monty