A letter for Mrs Fenton......from the store.....

Mrs. Fenton,

Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offenses over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.


MEMO

Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill

Fenton has done while his spouse/partner is shopping:


1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.


2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.


3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.


4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.


5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.


6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.


7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.


8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'


9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.


10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.


11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.


12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.


13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"


14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams"
NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"


(And; last, but not least!)


15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly,

"There is no toilet paper in here!"



Monty