Wednesday, September 28, 2005

How To Get Out Of A Traffic Ticket!




A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.


Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:


Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.


Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying S.O.B. told you I was speeding, too!




Monty

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lycos searching for new, improved identity
The new man at the top of Lycos Inc. is determined to teach the old dog some new tricks.
Find out how to buy and sell anything, like things related to music on interest free credit and pay back whenever you want! Exchange FREE ads on any topic, like music!

jon said...

msn horoscope info is so cheesy but we were looking at it anyway...why i dont know. I guess it is fun to play around online. Anyway, I saw your msn horoscope posts and though it was cool...Alright, well...have a great night, I am back to msn horoscope surfing LOL : )

Jon

freestuff2 said...

Hey I was just blog surfing amd I found your blog! Looks Great!

I also have a airport hotel
It deals mostly with airport hotel plus other stuff,
You can save up to 50% your next flight!

You should check it out if you get a chance!!

Anonymous said...

I came across you blog and thought you may find this site usefull. It has gas saving tips and where to find cheap gas. download free font

:)

Anonymous said...

RSS Announcer instantly and automatically submits your RSS feeds